I don't really get Leon

It is to my regret that I have to admit that I don’t get Leon
I love the concept, the healthy beliefs, the fact that you could eat here all day if you wanted to, starting with breakfast, lunch-to-go, afternoon tea and cake and then a candle lit dinner to finish. I like the décor, the squashy sofas and fairy lights. The diners all seem friendly, the sort of people that I’d like to hang out with. But I don’t like the food! It’s just a tad too wholesome for me. And I do lament that fact because I know I’m in the minority and I wish I could change my mind. Today I thought I’d try for one last time as last time I came in, I stared at the menu and left but today I was determined. It cannot be too difficult for someone as awkward as me to be accommodated in this much lauded eatery, or can it? Okay, it’s fair to say that there’s a list of food stuffs that I really cannot take namely tomatoes, yogurty dressings, mayonnaise, coriander, non-risotto rice, noodles, chilli and beans, chickpeas, Indian spices and coconut. I’m also not crazy about sweet potatoes, avocado or mint unless inside an After Eight mint.
So with that little list in mind I consult the menu. How about soup? Today’s choices are pinto bean, black bean and chorizo (I like the chorizo) or miso and soba noodle (hmm I’ll pass I think), what about one of the ‘bigger dishes’, I scanned the options – chilli con carne (no), Moroccan meatballs (beware lots of tomato!), roasted sweet potato falafel (again no), the Leon Gobi (more sweet potato, chilli, coriander and coconut milk – arghhh!), and then there’s the chicken. Chicken is normally a good bet – I think the grilled free-range chicken with herb oil and lemon sounds most to my tastes. But there is only one choice of accompaniment to complement all the bigger dishes and that’s brown basmati rice and open-sesame slaw. Uggh basmati and then brown, I’ve wandered in some sort of whole food personal hell! And the slaw, well it sounds better but I’m still not keen. I asked for the chicken without rice and slaw but the first one I was handed had both and the second just had lots and lots of slaw. Ah well, it is better than brown rice I think. I don’t know why I didn’t like the slaw, to me it taste yoghurt-y or mayonnaise-y or something I don’t like. I liked the chicken though! But I don’t like wasting all that food and the staff seem to find it just too strange that I don’t fancy either their brown basmati or slaw.
I know it's virtuous, supremely good for you and run by very earnest worthy people who care about the food they serve but it's just not me, I’m just not a Leon sort of diner it seems. I'll have to find my good-for-you fast food elsewhere.